So here’s the scenario: you have this big goal or dream that you really want to make happen. But for some reason you can’t seem to make any progress. You’re frustrated because you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and just can’t seem to do the things you know you need to make your dream a reality.
What is it that keeps you stuck? Lots of things play into the inertia of being stuck, but really what I’ve found it comes down to is your thinking. Your thoughts – whether you are aware of them or not – are always at work creating your circumstances.
The good news is that with a few mindful shifts, you can start moving forward again:
- Have you really decided to go for your dream?
Or are you living in limbo land? Assess your level of commitment honestly. You may think you want your dream, and I’m sure a big part of you does want it. But if you’re like many people you probably have opposing forces at work. One part of you yearns to make big stuff happen, while another part of you is most interested in keeping you safe and risk-free.
Shift: Acknowledge and send love to the part of you that wants to stay safe. After all, this part of you has probably kept you out of some life-threatening trouble in the past! Next, if you really want it, consciously re-commit to your dream. Get back in touch with the part of you that yearns to make this goal happen. Acknowledge that discomfort will show up (it’s a natural part of the process) and when it does, you will feel your way through it, one step at a time.
- Are you judging yourself harshly?
This may sound something like “How am I going to make this happen? I’ve never been able to do anything like this before.” or “Who I am to go after this?” Sound familiar?
Shift: Whatever the judgment is, find evidence to the contrary. For example, if you doubt your ability to reach your goal, make a list of all the successes you have had in your life so far. If you’re falling prey to the who-am-I-to-do this gremlin, take a look around you. Find some examples from friends, mentors, or someone you look up to where despite all the odds, they made it happen.
- Does fear have you in a stranglehold?
Are you scared of what’s on the other side of your fear? What will it really be like? What happens if you fail? What happens if you succeed?!
Shift: As I mentioned already, fear and discomfort just come with the territory and are a natural part of reaching for something bigger. The worst thing to do is to ignore your fear or push it away. Instead, meet it head on. Allow the feelings to come through, whether it’s talking to a trusted friend about them or writing them in a journal. Processing the feelings will help you move through them.
- Are you overwhelmed by how you’re actually going to make this dream happen?
How will you get it all done? How will you find the money, the time, etc? I call this future tripping. And it stops you dead in your tracks before you even get going.
Shift: Realize that you do not need to have an exact step-by-step plan for how it’s all going to go down. You can have an idea of what you will do, but allow space for your plan to evolve. Each day, all you need to do today is take the next right step.
- What do you need to release?
Are you clinging to something that no longer serves you? A job that no longer fits, a relationship that’s keeping you stuck, or maybe a house that’s draining your money? Many times the things we’re most afraid to let go of are the exact things we need to release.
Shift: Realize that letting go does not mean you will necessarily have to give anything up. Maybe you will or maybe you won’t. But the willingness to loosen your grip allows you to move on to the next step. What are you willing to let go of?
As always, I’d love to hear from you. Which one of the 5 mindset shifts above speaks to you the most? Shoot me an email at Kelly@kellymahercoaching.com or share with me in the comments below!