Just so you all know, I actually do practice what I preach over here! Often times I find what I’m writing about is something I need to take a deeper look at in my own life. And as we discussed several weeks ago, fall is a time of letting go of what no longer serves us or is holding us back.
So as I reflected about what I was ready to let go of, one of the things that came up for me was my hair.
Now I know that my hair may seem like a silly example of something important to let go of, but what I realized was how much of my identity and worth I put into my hair, and how I was allowing myself to hide behind it.
Let me give you some background to better explain.
I was gifted with very thick beautiful hair and natural curl. As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown to appreciate my hair, but it’s a lot of work. And, it’s big. I used to dream of just having hair that laid flat and was effortlessly flowy. Not the case for me.
I also have some pretty brutal memories of having really short hair as a little girl and getting made fun of for looking like a boy. So needless to say, I’ve pretty much always kept my hair long sinc ethen.
I started having the itch to cut it and then made the decision that it would be apart of my “letting go”. And then my fears started coming up: I won’t be pretty. What if I regret it because it looks ugly? I need to be in better shape to have short hair, and on and on.
I finally made the appointment and was quite nervous. As my hairdresser was cutting off my ponytail I started to get emotional. It was crazy. I had no idea I would feel this way. Being nervous made sense to me, but wanting to cry came out of nowhere.
And it wasn’t because I didn’t like what I saw (I could already tell I was going to love it) but because I realized I held a part of my self-worth in my long hair. A part of my identity. I was the girl with the long, thick beautiful hair and now I didn’t have that to fall back on. I felt like the real me was going to be more exposed and visible. I felt through all these feelings and once they passed, I felt this huge weight lift. It was such an amazing feeling!
And now I feel lighter, fresher and younger. I had no idea how much I was holding in that dang hair. I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner. Well, yes actually I can. It was fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of “what if I’m not doing it right.” I’ve gotten really good at doing activities outside of my comfort zone but this was totally different. And, I was once again reminded of how powerful it is when we listen to our intuition and move through the fear. Total happiness and bliss on the other side!
Now again, I fully understand that in the scheme of life hair is something minor, but to me it was a big deal. And I think it’s so important not to minimize how we relate or feel about things because “other people have bigger problems.” That’s not how life works and it serves no one! If I had minimized what I was feeling, I would have missed out on the full experience of letting go.
So what are you holding onto – big and small – that you can finally let go of?! Tell me about it in the comments below…