Ok, here’s the scene. You’re at a party, or an event and you feel totally self-conscious. You’re uncomfortable in your skin and feel like there’s a spotlight on you and everyone is looking and judging. You didn’t wear the right outfit, you feel fat, you’re not pretty enough and you’re worried to talk to anyone because you’re convinced you have nothing interesting to say and you’ll sound stupid. And even worse, you actually don’t think you deserve to have fun because you’re not who you “think you should be yet.” Have you ever felt this way?
Here’s the thing. None of this is true unless YOU choose to make it true. Have you ever met or seen someone who by society’s standards isn’t perfect but just glows and lights up the entire room? Everyone seems to be attracted to them and their presence is magnetic. This is someone who owns their self-worth and goes into to situations looking to connect with other people based on their soul, not what anyone looks like.
Part of being a human is connecting. And when you look back and think about the best times of our life, my guess is they’ve had nothing to do with how you looked or what you said. They involved you being your authentic self and just connecting with others. Right?
Here are a few things to remember the next time you’re in a social situation where you’re feeling self-conscious:
• Everyone else is doing the same thing you are…thinking about themselves. And if they really are judging you, it has nothing to do with you. Let me repeat myself. It has NOTHING to do with you. When we judge another person it’s really just our own insecurity about ourselves coming to the surface. We judge in others what we feel bad about in ourselves and/or what we worry is true for us. Which leads to my next point…
• Stop judging other people. Just stop. When we judge others we also assume others are judging us. And like I just said it’s really just a judgment against yourself. Not the other person.
• Put your focus on other people. When you shift your focus away from yourself and focus on others not only do you start to embody your authentic self, but you also are able to actually connect with someone. And, people remember others for how they made them feel, not for what they said about themselves.
Before going to any event – dinner party, networking event, your cousin’s wedding, even coffee with a friend – take a minute to get centered and grounded. Here’s a quick meditation you can do:
1. Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths.
2. Focus on breathing into your heart center (the space in the center of your chest where you feel love). Try to cultivate that feeling of love by thinking of something that makes you happy.
3. Now, while still breathing into your heart center, set an intention for how you want to show up at this event. For example: “I intend to show up and be loving, warm and witty with everyone I come in contact with. I choose to leave people feeling good about themselves.”
Now over to you: What do you do to boost your self confidence? Leave a comment below!